juan tamad

"I'm afraid of what I've become in the mirror, the face of my one true enemy, Hallelujah's a new day" - Bamboo

"lahat kayo tumutulong na sa' ken..."

"ikaw na lang kulang..."

"sasama ka ba?"

the songs, can't feel them no more

gusto nga ba talagang maligtas?

the great escape

"A man who does not busy himself living busies himself dying" Bless him Father

"gumawa ka nang sarile mong demonyo..."

dead man walking... afraid of the light... hoping everyday would be every night

"go to sleep... never wake up"

almost did it but he couldn't... must unbind the ties that bind him

bed... bed... bed...

can't move... won't move... never wanted to move... two-day paralysis

he dared him to move... "game ka ba?" "ang hirap ng pinapagawa mo?"

pano ko tatakas kung yung bukas dumarating pa....

tenga

I am not a good listener... I have no comment either

I'm slowly being eaten away...

wasting Christmas?

ui pre tama na inarte, ano ba!?

" And I'm a bad boy 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin her heart
Now I'm free, free fallin'

I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin'
Gonna leave this world for a while "
- John Mayer

I'm just making all these excuses para hindi na siguro ako gumawa

Ayokong hanapan ng paraan at solusyon ang mga problema ko

Ilang inspirational talks pa ba kailangan para magbago ko, gusto ko pa nga ba magbago?

Kinakalawang na utak ko sa kakaisip ng mga walang kwentang bagay, hindi na tuloy ako makausap ng matino, pero ganito pa ren ako

Naging absorbent na Nanay ko, sa lahat ng negative thoughts ko, di na ko nahiya

Tigil na this sem at mag-culinary?

Maybe I'm just finding ways para tumakas na naman...

Gusto ko na lang humiga dun sa kwarto, sarado ang pinto, sarado ang ilaw, malamig kahit may lamok, balot sa kumot, nakadikit ang likod sa pader, nakatitig sa kurtina habang gumagalaw sa hangin, madilim

Gusto ko dun sa garahe ng kapitbahay, me nakasabit na radyo sa puno, tugtugin oldies, sa ilalim ng mga dilaw na ilaw, walang alalahanin, malamig ang gabi, wag na sana matapos ang gabi

I'm writing all this down even if I don't feel like writing it, because I don't know why, maybe I'm just stallin' ...

hello nga pala sa kay panahon, sinasayang nanaman ata kita

hindi ka pde magsaya kase hindi pa fulfilled studies mo, hindi ka naman maka-aral kase tinatamad ka at feeling mo kinakalawang na utak mo

ano nang nangyare sayo? what have I become?

Sabi ko sa nanay ko kanina maging kasambahay na lang ako para madali na lang lahat, gusto ko nga kase madali lang ang lahat, nakahain na sa mesa, kakain ka na lang

Parang di ako natatauhan

Naaalala ko nun elementary pa ako, me pina-assignment si teacher, hindi ko na magawa, panic kase deadline na ata bukas kailangan ko na magawa, mamamatay na ata ako sa kaba, natulog na ko at pinagawa ko na lang sa mga magulang ko, umiiyak na ko kase baka hindi ko mapasa
lesson: hindi ko kaya tumayo sa sarile kong mga paa, akayin mo ako

Isang umaga nagising ako sa tabi ng pinto kase sa lapag kame natutulog na magpamilya. Nakaupo lang ako dun sa sulok. Good old times dun sa terrace ni Mamang na ginawang naming munting bahay. Ramdam ko ang init ni haring araw nung madaling araw. Binasa ko ilang chapter ng libro kase akala ko may quiz. Walng quiz.

Me assignment nga pala kame. Define "solid". Astig si Michael J. Fox sa pelikula niyang "Back to the Future" o "Never Ending Story" ata pinapanod ko. Basta alas-nuebe na puyat na ako. Tulog na silang lahat. Inaantok na ako. Ang haba ng definition ni Webster. Magtataas ako ng kamay bukas para mag-recite. Pinagpuyatan ko to.
Hindi ako nag-recite...

Ayoko matapos tong gabe na 'to o kaya hanggang sa Dec. 26.
Hey Mr. Sandman put me to sleep, a never ending sleep, cos I want to run away and leave this place, dun ako magaling, simulan ang isang bagay pero hindi ko naman kayang tapusin

shit

welcome back to reality, medicines are effective or baka hinde ko naman talaga sila kailangan, it cannot cure self-will

still feels like self-torture but I can't feel it anymore, my mind is clear

it's hard to socialize, hirap pa ren mag-aral

gusto ko na sukuan

still pretty hard to wake up everyday, i want to sleep all day

para na kong mapipipe

pride, pag-iinarte, katamaran, umaasa sa iba, gusto ko madali ang lahat

gising na ba ko? ibalik nio ko sa dilim, shet

san nga ba ko tutungo? meron nga ba?

i want some saving grace badly

what is my purpose?

- to be. that is all there is to anybody. the antidote of to die is not to live. BE.

what is important in life?…what is important to me?

- you are important. you are life. just as i am. we all are. valuing is relative. do you really need to measure? to be exacting is to limit whatever there is to be.

am i worth of something?

- we are worth everything we are. even nobody's perfect. ;-)

why am i doing this?

- to seek answers

why do i think this is lame?

- nothing is ever really good enough. we will never get what we want. we can, however, want what we have.

what is my goal in life?

- choose. it's your call.

what is love?

- you'll know once you do.

why am i always holding myself back?

- because you are too precious to lose.

why is it so hard to be true?

- "it's easier to lie." - aqualung.

why do i have that "talk to me and you’ll get serious too" aura?

- you don't. you have the "don't talk to me coz i really have nothing to say to you" look.

why is it so hard to express?

- it's easier to impress. - me.

why do i have so many questions?

- because you need too many answers.

why do i go home after school early and feel like regretting to do it?

- because there is so much to do out there in the world.

what is contentment? can contentment hold me back from wanting greater things in life?

- although contentment is wanting what you have, it is always desirable to seek for the greater things in life.

why do i have to type in english and make this look like organized for reading?

- because somebody is bound to come across this and dare to answer.

why am i browsing up this list and taking a look if this is long enough?

- because you want to set limits and boundaries to something as inifnite as curiosity.

why am i always thinking of what others might think? ( i’m too stressed thinking about mine so, why the f*ck?)

- because sometimes it sucks to think about the same piece of s**t every single fu***n' day so to think of what other people think is a welcome change.

why do i keep on lingering on things that don’t matter?

- because although you think they don't, they actually do.

why do i keep on waiting, waiting for nothing?

- if it arrives, then you stop waiting. you wait because it's still on its way to reach you.

why am i still trying to think of more questions?

- they never end. never will.

can i get a mentor?

- sure. haha.

can i be my own mentor?

- tough. sadly, no. you teach yourself. but never become your own mentor.

what do i want?

- i wouldn't know. you would know this better than anyone else.

why am i so pessimistic?

- because life is one big sh*t.

why is the grass greener on the other side?

- if you keep stepping on the same side of grass, it dries up more easily than the side that is never walked on. it is greener because no one dares to even touch it.

if i lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

- i have the same question. yeah, that would be nice.

why do i have this feeling that what i do is worth nothing?

- if it's nothing, there's no worth. nothing is never worth anything. all that's left are your feelings.

do i really want to get married?

- i suppose. it's very rare for people to want to live, much less die, alone.

what happens when i graduate?

- you step into a more adventurous world called bulls**t.

what do i want?

- you want what you don't have.

what do i want?

- you want what you can't get.

what do i want?

- you want what you think you want.

why is it hard for me to look someone in the eye?

- not anymore.. :)

Salamat Ma'am Sang!

stop this train

John Mayer songs never fail to sooth my soul...

"cos i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you there..."

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white

I try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
I don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight"
"You'll renegotitate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in a while, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Til you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing
Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

humil

false humility results into loss of self-trust...

learn to appreciate myself...

ayos

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right

Oh it's taking so long
i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new luck upon me

And now i'm walking in the park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me

Oh i'm never really ready, yeah, oh, i'm never really ready

- In Repair, John Mayer

napagtanto ko na

gusto ko humingi ng tawad sa sarile ko... hanggang ngayon ganto pa ren ako... tulungan mo ko

no air

itong mga nakaraang araw parang ayoko nang gumising

hindi ako makahinga me bumabara sa aking baga... kapag minumulat ko ang aking mga mata

sabi nila wala namang problema... sana nakikita ko yung nakikita nila

Glory Be To the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit... yan lang ang aking tanging hiling

bigla kong naisip tama nga si utol, "pano pag nawala na, meron ka pa sanang babalikan..."

meron pa nga ba? bute anjan kayo kapamilya

"whoooo!... sarap umiyak" - Ako

yup

maybe that's what keepin' the friendship alive.... those tiny bits of humor that can't be found nowhere else

"tinabla ni Father yung commentator... hahaha"

sarap tumawa pre... tawa lang wag mong pigilan... please

balls

life is a risk... if you wanna live it then you'd have to take it

kids

sarap talaga kasama mga bata kase hindi mo na kailangan maging ibang tao sa kanila... tatanggapin ka nila maging sino ka man... it relieves my fear of rejection kapag kasama ko sila

mabababaw ang kaligayahan... mabenta ka pag korni ka
masarap kaasaran
madaling utuen
enthusiastic
sarap kakuwentuhan kase they tell stories with brightness
ok lang na magalet ka sa kanila... mas matanda ka e
you can sing in front of them
mahilig silang maglaro
appreciative... they're not hard to please
pag sinuntok ka... di ka masasaktan
you can make funny faces in front of them

they really are precious and you can't take them for granted... naluha ako bigla

"i am not emo, i just cry a lot" - T-shirt ni Coco (-_-')

undas

hirap gawen ang mga bagay na di mo naman hilig gawen... e pano pa kung wala ka namang hilig gawen e di lahat na lang ng bagay mahirap gawen... lagot

i am more worried than inspired with the things that have been happening lately... somebody save me... Lord save me...

nakakatakot... i sure miss those days na sa aswang at multo lang ako natatakot... welcome to reality get ready for the real world baby

acquaintance... no touch

its good to have acquaintances... cos you'll only talk about the good stuff and you'll never get any attachments...

you say hi and then you say goodbye, happy days... you both leave with good trails of memories of one another... good times good times

if you go beyond acquaintances then it gets complicated, at least for me and for those people who are not too friendly, once you go beyond acquaintances you become attached... its a risk... and i don't like taking risks cos i'm mr. play it safe... maybe that's why i'm feeling like hell right now because i feel like i know a lot of people but i don't feel like they know me at all... cos i've only been telling them about the good stuff... i think they knew that i am mr. brightside but actually i'm mr. darkside... sometimes i don't even know myself cos i deny it... well it sucks to be me

its good to talk about the bad stuff cos you get to know the other side of the person... you get to laugh about each other's mistake... i don't talk about the bad stuff... not to you or to anyone else... cos i don't like us talking about me... but i do want to get heard... who doesn't?

there are lots of listeners but only a few can be considered as good listeners... in my life, i could count them only by fingers... i am thankful... i wish i could talk to you people often

"And the moral of that story is, if there is one, never ever ever ever underestimate the power of 'I'd like that' haha..." - John Mayer

mr. anxiety

most of the time i feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear - Incubus

motherf*ckin sh*t happens... gusto kong sumigaw... gusto kong umiyak... yup i am weak like i've always been... i feel sorry for myself... pare patawad... potsa eto nanaman ako... sana pede na lang sumabog

tell me what it means to be happy... i've lost that a long time ago... F*Ck! talaga... always keep the enthusiasm alive pre... so hard to please, SH*t!... still hanging on to little bits of precious happy moments... salamat mga kapamilya... parang droga and i wish i cud keep them forever

yeah, maybe i haven't been trusting others much, cos i haven't been trusting myself either, shet?

sarap mag-bike, it makes me feel alive, makes me feel like i'm in the present... wala ka nang iba pang iisipen kundi ikaw at ang daan... kailangan umiwas sa mga rumaragasang sasakayan kase gusto mo pang mabuhay... gusto ko pa nga ba? baka, nagttype pa ren ako e... salamat nga pala sa Mama ni Manny Villar kase me tinatambayan akong tindahan dun sa me BF... pit stop bago umarangkada ule... salamat sa bike nameng pang-rough road... " come to a far away place, and rest for a while..."

Salamat sa'yo pre kase anjan ka paren kahit ipinagkakalunlo na kita (whatever that means astig lang pakinggan)... Salamat din sa Iyo kase alam kong kahit anong mangyare nanjan ka pa ren... you're just one prayer away... laban pre

I am paralyzed... petrified... by all these motherf*ckin anxieties... i dare myself to move... kill them all madafaking bastards...

i need someone to shed me some light... tell me that's its going to be alright... hug me tight...
i also pray that i may learn to believe and to trust myself and others... i am so f*ckin hard to please... hindi na nakuntento... waahahahay

Lord? Pa? Tito? Nasty Jo? Salamat senyo mga guidance counselor ko sana nanjan keo lage kailangan ko talaga ng guidance... hanggang ngayon isip bata pa ren...tsk

malapet na ko makapagtapos (hinihiling ko)... handa na nga ba ako? Lagi na lang ba akong takot?

"wanna die!" - My Sassy Girl, Korean version

iba na to

No I'm not the man I used to be lately,
See you met me at an interesting time.
And If my past is any sign of your future,
You should be warned before i let you inside.

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with lovin you.

I will beg my way into your garden,
Then I'll break my way out when it rains,
Just to get back to the place where I started
So I can want you back all over again
(I don't really understand)

Who do you love?
Girl I see through, through your love.
Who do you love?
Me or the thought of me?
Me or the thought of me?

I don't trust myself with lovin you.


-John Mayer, "I don't trust myself (with loving you)"

got brains?

matalino ka nga madiskarte ka ba?

graduate? gusto?

uuwe cya sa March... nice

bigla tuloy akong ginanahang gumraduate... salamat

mr darkside

kung mabaet ako sayo, malamang na ibang tao ka, o kaya di kita masyadong kilala

sino nga ba talaga nakakakilala saken... ako nga ba talaga yung kilala mo kung sakale?

ako minsan di q ren alam e...

good luck

kung kelan 5th year na naging ganito pa... pero parang okei di naman cya... parang?
mahirap talaga kapag wala sa kamay mo ang sarili mong kapalaran at wala kang kontrol
sa mga bagay-bagay... di mo alam ang gagawen... walang kontrol... wasak

hindi nga lahat ng bagay e kaya kong gawen... pero ano nga ba talaga ang kaya kong gawen... malapet na ko gumraduate, bahala na nga ba?...

anong lesson ba ang dapat kong matutunan? magtiwala sa iba o umasa sa iba... isang maliit na linya ang pumapagitan sa dalawa... pero asa paren ako sa "TIWALA"

ambilis pa dumaloy ng panahon... badtrip

seryoso masyado, ang sarap maging seryoso e, depression is a drug but maybe grass is greener on the other side... sino makakapag-explain saken nyan, astig ka


ui wag ka sanang ngumiti kase natutunaw ako, seryoso
tanggalen ko na lang salamen ko para malabo

"tumatakbo ang oras, naiiwan na ako ng panahon"- Mojofly

payong

i'm the type of guy who'd rather not talk about it...


"i don't wanna talk about it. how you broke my heart
if i stay here just a little bit longer. if i stay here would you listen
to my heart." - Rod Stewart

great husky voice, idol!

emo shit paren e... haha

mr. brightside

people do crazy things when they're drunk... its kind of liberating

pagkagising ko kanina ang tahimik....
parang walang laman...bakit ganon?

"naibigay ko na sa iyo lahat, ano pa ba gusto mo?"... what if God asked me this question? how would i reply?

"pain leads to freedom...its everyone's opinion not my own
fame, crystal kingdom...its everybody's mission not my own
all these years i never really knew what love is..." - Bamboo

the enthusiast

always keep the enthusiasm alive... it's what keeps the inner child in us alive

just do it

don't overdo it

a day late

So let me get this straight
Say now you loved me all along
What made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel?
I can see it in your eyes
you mean all of what you say
i remember so along ago, see I felt that same way
Now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
Insignificantly enough
we both have significant others

Only time will tell
Time will turn and tell

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who, we are who we were when

Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

But thoughts they change
and times they rearrange
I don't know who you are anymore
Loves come and go and this I know
I'm not who you recall anymore
But i must confess
you're so much more than I remember
Can't help but entertain
these thoughts, thoughts of us together


We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

My daily friend

So let me get this straight
All these years
and you were no where to be found
And now you want me for your own
But you're a day late
and my love, she's still renowned

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when (fade out)

puro na lang emo shit lately a...lage! depressant is a dru g... haha

left or right

what's wrong in being righteous?

it ain't cool enough...
it looks too serious...
it ain't funny...
what the hell...

old school lover boy

Apo: 'Pang pa'no mo nakilala si Mamang?
Lolo: E, pumunta sila sa'men nun tapos hinarana kase ng kapatid niya yun tropa nameng babae

Apo: Uso pa ba harana dun ngayon?
Lolo: Naku, hindi na. Ang uso ngayon "Tara labas tayo, nood tayo sine". Haha!

Apo: E, ikaw pa'no mo niligawan si Mamang
Lolo: Wala sulat sulat lang tsaka binibisita ko siya sa Cavite. Ayaw nga saken nun ate niya e. Pero nung tumagal nagustuhan na rin ako. Magaling kase ako sa pagkumpuni ng mga bagay-bagay. Ang ginagawa ng ate niya, parang dealer, naghahanap ng magpapaayos ng basket tapos ako yun nag-aayos. Tapos sa kanya yung bayad.

Apo: Ga'no katagal mo niligawan si Mamang
Lolo: Matagal din. Pero tumigil din ako nun napunta ako sa UP kase nagka-syota ako nun

Apo: Nakailang girlfriend ka ba 'Pang?
Lolo: Hmmm. Apat. Meron nga ako no'n dati, bata ng kaibigan ko. Tatlo kame nasa ginta yun babae, katabi niya ako at yun boyfriend niya pero ang hawak na kamay nung babae e yung kamay ko. Magkaibigan kase kame. Kilala pa ako ng mga kamag-anak niya. Me isang beses pa nga akala nanliligaw ako sa kanya. Ang nakatuluyan nun babae e isang army man.

Apo: Kailan ka ba nagkaron ng unang girlfriend?
Lolo: Siguro mga 23 years old na ako no'n. Kaya ikaw ang maganda makatapos ka muna ng pag-aaral bago ka mag-nobya

Apo: Ahhh. Mejo matagal pa dalawang taon pa...

paralyze

langyang hiya 'yan... nilalamon ako ng buhay

best of luck sa'yo pre

adik sa Magic

uwe probinsya... happy 95th Birthday 'Tang!

di na kase pde mag-Starcraft... Magic cards naman

discarder, keso, counterspell,

bigyan mo nga lang ng konteng self-respect pde na

nood ka ule ng Big Fish... hanapen mo ang tunay na kahulugan ng pagpapakumbaba

bat halos lahat ng tema ng kanta puro tungkol sa mag-syota? Kase nga pala yun ang papatok sa masa... good game!

Pagtawanan mo ang gabi,
ang araw, ang buwan,
pagtawanan mo ang mga liku-likong
landas sa isla,
pagtawanan mo ang torpeng
lalaking ito na nagmamahal sayo,
ngunit kapag bubuksan ko
at isasara ang aking mga mata,
kapag ako ay umalis,
kapag ako ay muling bumalik
ipagkait mo na sa akin ang tinapay, ang hangin,
ang liwanag at ang tagsibol
huwag lamang ang iyong ngiti
dahil ito'y aking ikasasawi
- Pablo Neruda, Berso sa Metro (chill!)

stomp the yard

oi mr. jack-of-all-trades klan mo balak mag-step up...

You want to belong but you don't want to be involved, no attachments, no commitments...

"Nagiging malungkot ang tao dahil Pinipilit niyang maging masaya..."

gusto ko kase lahat

The Law of Equivalent Exchange: Full Metal Alchemist
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain one thing, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth."

"The world isn't perfect, and the law is incomplete. Equivalent Exchange doesn't encompass everything that goes on here. But I still choose to believe in its principle: that all things do come at a price. That there's an ebb, and a flow, a cycle. That the pain we went through did have a reward and that anyone who's determined and perseveres will get something of value in return, even if it's not what they expected."

-Alphonse Elric

First stage:
hinanap ang sarile sa mga kaibigan... nawala sa sarile... nalayo sa pamilya
Next Stage:
hinanap ang sarile sa sarile... nabawasan ang pakikipagkaibigan ... malayo pa ren sa pamilya
Next:
hinanap ang sarile sa pamilya... hinahanap pa ren ang sarile... pano na nga pakikipagkaibigan

bat mo ba pinapaganda pa yung nakasulat dito sa blog mo... ginawa mo to para libre kang makapagsulat ng gusto mo at kung pano mo ito gustong gawen... ano ngayon kung me nagbabasa neto... ano ren naman kung wala... just getting too tired of trying to please everyone.... basta magsulat ka lang...steady lang

i'm too tired thinking about what i think, so why bother thinking about what other's think

nawala na ng matagal ang pamilya ko saken pero dumame naman ang kaibigan ko tapos bigla akong nalito... pero nang naibabalik ko na ang puso ng pamilya ko cya namang pagkawala ng pagiging kaibigan ko... gusto ko sana meron ako nung dalawa pero hindi pwede

but i know one thing: i'd still choose family over friends but i can only speak for myself kase marameng broken families... Thank you Lord for my family

pretty pulis

certainly, you can't please everybody....relakspapi

andito na si maldito, asan ka na maldita, sino ka nga ba talaga?

before doing anything... Glory Be
pag nakakita ng magandang babae... Hail Mary

definitely, you can't have everything going your way, you can't have everything you want

why can't i handle pressure... i'm like a kid who always needs guidance...who always wants things served in a golden platter... nostalgic i wish i had some kind of magic... afraid to take risks... always wants everything guaranteed... too afraid to be alone but still prefers to be alone... asa pa ren sa magulang... independence is a big question mark?

kakayanin ko na ba ang mundo ng realidad???

"i need inspiration, not just another negotiation..." - Music and Lyrics

mejo kabadtrip maging bobo at walang alam if i'm like me

B speak!

everybody speaks one common language and that is body language...

you can tell what a person is like, what he or she wants, what he or she wants to say, just by looking at the way he or she moves...

blah?

ayoko naman maging tamad sa totoo lang... sinubukan ko lang maging tamad para malaman kung ano ang feeling na maging tamad.... pero di pala ako ganun ( yun kasipagan na sinasabe ko e pertained to studying lang )

sigruro binalak q lang maging tamad hindi dahil gusto qng maging tamad... siguro i've been to hard on myself sa mga ginagawa ko ... nginangarag q sarile ko sa mga tasks tapos pagkatapos ng isang task di ko man lang pinuri sarile ko ng " a job well done" madalas hindi pa aq satisfied or minsan wala lang... tsk tsk...kaya siguro sinubukan q kung pano maging tamad... chill-ax

i'm still on the letting go stage... mga napagtanto ko so far, mga bagay na mahalaga sa akin:
1. healthy relationships with people
2. chill-ax lang
3. be on time
4. grades are figures and could only be part of goals or achievements

condom

isang movie na galing sa HBO na ang bida e si Antonio Banderas kasama ang ilang mga teenager...
sumasayaw sila...

trusting someone is actually trusting yourself... cos you trust yourself on trusting someone

be safe...

conflict

always long for a brighter tomorrow...

what if tomorrow never comes...



Jesus said "look into the world through the eye of a needle..."

FOCUS... be still... be in the NOW

emo

a sweet truth..

"when God knows ure READY for d responsibility of commitment...
He'll reveal d ryt person under d ryt circumstances..."

wait patiently... don't waste ur tym searchin and wishin.. grow and be ready... and u'll see..

GOD will give u a Love story far better than u could ever dream of...


TRUTH#1: LOVE IS UP TO YOU
Love is messy. it wont be confined 2 our preconceived ideas. we want love 2 just happn bt love isnt convnient. its highs are higher and its lows r lowr than we r evr prprd 4.love requires more of us thn we think we can give. it pushes us past our breaking pt, and yet we dnt break. it is unpredictable, then sedate. it tears us up whle makng us bettr. it is nvr what we xpct. Love is messy bec our desire 4 love is driven by our fears. we fear being rejctd, so we bcm people-pleasers and call it love. we fear seeming inadequate, so we look 4 a partnr who is perfct and call it having high standards. we fear looking stupd, so we keep 2 ourselves when our soul yearns to open up. we fear we are unlovable, so we hide our true self fr those we love. we are afraid 2 be w/o love , bt hw many times we are more afraid to be in love...? -Fearless Loving R.BRITTEN

sensor

proximity begets intimacy...
huwag kayong lalapet mashado kase magkakakilanlan tayo ng maige... mahirap para saken yun
siguro mga 14 cm lang tapos liliko na ako... parang mobile robot lang ng e-gizmo...
anong saket ba itong nakuha ko mahirap gamuten...
alam ko naman sagot sa mga tanong ko... wala naman akong ginagawa...
"its a matter of choice: victor, villain, victim..." - mellow 94.7


this letting go thing is making me feel numb and emotionless...
still trying to find out whether it is a good thing or a bad thing...


ang daming pumapasok sa isip ko pag kinausap mo ko para kinausap mo e hangin...
walang kaluluwa sa mga mata, tulala...

sinusubukan ko nga pala maging tamad... so far nakikita ko ang mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko nung masipag pa ako sa mga kinasisipagan ko...
1. being prompt
2. enough rest and sleep
3. exercise, tamang workouts
4. healthy relationships with people

nawawala

sarap matulog, sarap rin gumising galing sa pagkatulog
stretching...
kinig good times with Mo...
wala naman si Mo, nasa NBA All Star Weekend...
lipat sa 94.7 talkin' about making choices..."victor, villain, victim" which one?...
naiwan ni Meg kanyang kobyertos...
hatid kay Nanay sa skul para ihatid ang kutsara't tinidor...
hintay onte kase chika-chika muna sa kumare kase mejo hihingi ng pabor para maibigay kay Meg ang mga kobyertos...
steady hits lang kahit di pa sapat ang pinag-aralan sa SMAT...
kaen ng sabaw ng chiken meatballs, itlog na maalat, dalawa't kalahating bangus,kanen, saging, vitamins...
ligo na...
nood onte ng ALL STAR game, astig Dwight Howard at Lebron...
la pa ring hassle kahit di pa sapat ang pinag-aralan sa SMAT...
sarap biyahe ang aga ko pumasok... steady lang...
BOOM! ... putok gulong! FX standby lang...
relaks pa ren kahit me chansang malate na para sa test sa SMAT...
pagkadating sa skul naiihi pa, nagsimula na test pero relaks pa rn sa pag-ihi...
"ser sori ser...", "san ka ba nauwe?", "Las Piñas ser..."
test na...........
steady lang, ang utak lumilipad...
alam ko lang ang dapat kong malaman...masasagot ko lang ang dapat kong masagot...ang utak din pala e dapat sinasanay... tsktsk
pero kahit na...marameng nabago...marameng nawala...marameng nadagdag...
tapos na ang test.... ngiti na lang... GG
ihi muna, sabay "SHET!!!" onse na lang average ko...
hindi na ko lasing tulad ng date... manhid na lang...walang emosyon...


depression is a drug...
what does "doin' it for the Lord mean"?

nanood ng "Grave of the Fireflies" ... mega baduy... pero oke lang
tinatapos ang presentation para sa Sociology, sinend ko na kay Genesis

still the undying question:
"Ano ba talaga importante sa buhay mo?"

steady lang, steady lang, steady lang, steady lang, "it's a matter of choice"

no man is an island...

ahm...

most people want to talk about themselves... i don't

i'm trying to figure out things that i WANT to do, things that i NEED to do, and things that i WANT AND NEED to do...

i lost track of things that i wanted to do... many years ago

i'm addicted to that kind of moment when time seems to stop and the world feels so carefree...

boy takot

"I sense much fear in you m' boy..." - Master Yoda

bat ba ko natatakot? nakakaramdam ako ng isang takot na hindi ko maipaliwanag... gusto ko lang matulog ng matulog... tawagin ko mang isang uri ng pagtakas, masarap pa rin malulong sa drogang dulot ng antok at bigat ng mga pilikmata

may gamit ba na ang tawag e kaibigan?
ano ang pinagkaiba ng gusto sa kailangan?
sino ang nakakarinig ng malinaw na pandinig?
kailan ba nagiging makasarile?
ilang oras ang tulog na sapat?
bakit ang hirap bumitaw?
alam mo ba kung saan ka pupunta? e pag nakarating ka na dun, ano na?...

7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit:
Wisdom, Knowledge, Fortitude, Counsel, Marriage?, Forgiveness,
basta me FEAR OF THE LORD

holy week

passion passion passion
motivation motivation motivation
drive drive drive
will will will

"its just one of those days...its all about what he says, she says bullsh*t" - Fred Durst

wala lang isang araw na naman na walang direksyon at walang patutunguhan...pagkatapos ng lahat ano na sunod? kaya importante na may goal sa soccer e... the best din kung alam mo ang gusto mo at gusto mong gawen

THE GREAT ESCAPE -----> matulog at mangarap